Dating help on how to deal with dating divas using assertiveness techniques. Firstly let’s define what a dating diva actually is: There are those that perceive themselves to be of a greater importance than
anyone else, this plays out in a number of ways creating the diva status of breaking all the rules. So when you're in search of love what are the indications that you are dealing with a diva? A true diva will do anything they need to get what they
want. They will show signs of over importance, flirt beyond reason and be prone to sulking. A first
indicator will be the level of rudeness that will be lurking just under the
surface if you start to have a difference of opinion.
Other signs are
uncouth behaviour and a tendency to become very loud and obnoxious. These types of
behaviour are sometimes hidden when first contact is made, but if you do get sucked in to that bad date
you will soon know it and probably regret it. These behaviours are not isolated
to either sex both can be top performing divas in their own
These kind of individuals require special attention if you
end up accidentally hooking up on a date with one. They can be inherently difficult
to deal with and even more difficult to get rid of. So in order
to deal with a top dating diva you require all the assertive skills you can
muster. Assertive skills help you deal with individuals that can be over
bearing. There are seven basic techniques that will be useful in dating help with a dive!
The Fogging Technique
When dealing with a difficult individual the fogging technique can help keep them at a
reasonably calm level even though you are finding it awkward in their presence and the frustration is obvious in your voice.
The technique involves you agreeing with them, however the
agreement you are expressing is only actually confirming what they think not an indicator that you agree with them. To
introduce fogging techniques try to use the following phrases in conversation.
I can understand you might believe that
If that is how you see it
Maybe you are right
I can see why you might think that
You could have a good point
If you look at the phrases above they all, in some way fog the communication by you agreeing, but only agreeing that they are allowed to think or feel what they choose. This helps you make them own their own behaviours and stops you from agreeing with them as an individual on what they think.
I Feel Technique
This is the most important dating help tip. It is true to say that nobody can argue with how you feel. Feelings are individual to us all and cannot be argued with. The opposite, is to use the word think. People are much more likely to challenge what you think than what you feel. So with this online dating tip start any conversation with I FEEL not I THINK.
I feel what I say.
I say what I feel.
Your feelings are easily defend-able you cannot argue with how someone feels.
Stay True to Yourself
In these situations you can easily be dragged into potentially heated conversation. The key to staying with your self is not to allow yourself to own their behaviour, the things they are saying, or the way they are behaving is there’s to own not yours. So stay with yourself, have the confidence to know that what is being said is not you, treat them with compassion, this will allow you to stay calm and composed. If you can stay in a composed and calm manner, you can control your own anger but remain assertive but also courteous.
Just Say No
If you are looking for some courage to stick with when saying no, it may be an idea to keep in mind the negative effects of not saying no. If we agree to something we don’t truly agree with or want to do, we run the risk of not getting satisfaction in our lives, we end up doing all things requested. Doing what you agreed too badly or grudgingly, or maybe at worse ending up with inner turmoil and feeling unhappy because you simply do not want to do the things you are doing. This can lead to many disasters and mistakes so although a little tongue in cheek this is a serious online dating tip.
Broken Record Technique
The broken record technique is used when things get awkward. In reality this is used in conjunction with the just say no technique but sometimes saying no is just not enough. To deal with somebody who will not except a simple no, we can introduce the broken record technique. You can deliver a no in lots of different ways, reaffirming the no each time. To deliver the no use phrases such as
No I am not prepared to
No I prefer not to
No I will not be able to
The answer is no
No sorry I will not do that
delivering the no phrases remember that you are saying
no to the request and you do not have to explain why you have said no.
The dating game can be tough at times so learning to say no is a must.
We hope these dating help tips are useful and good luck with your search for love.