So there you are sitting at home minding your own business.
You have the perfect partner and life is good. Then all of a sudden like a bolt
of lightning it hits you. You realise there is no direction in your
relationship. You've been happy rolling along in life and love and things have
felt good. But now something is missing, you want to achieve more in love and
life. Well rolling along with life and striving to achieve more are reasonable
emotions and both fit in to life at the right times. So when you make that
decision to strive forward and take things to a new level what could you be looking
at in setting relationship goals? Well the simple answer is whatever
you choose. We all have our own wants and needs and these are the things that
define us and our goals.
It is important to understand what will make you happy. Is money your driver, is more time with the one you love your most important priority, travelling the world or getting a bigger home so you can expand the family, there are so many choices that ultimately it comes down to what you and if setting goals in a relationship what your partner wants and needs.
There are things you can do to help achieve those goals and stay on
track to attaining what you want. It is so easy to decide what we want to
achieve going forward but how do we know if it’s realistic, achievable and how
long it should take to get their. There are two models of structure
we can use to help us on our journey:
Firstly we have the SMART
model that helps define our goals and then we have the GROW model that helps us
navigate the journey to the prize we have identified.
Identify what it is you really want, identify the detail within the goal. You may specify a bigger house, is that really what you want, or is it a house with one more bedroom, or a larger garden? Look at the detail of what you want closely and identify any non-compromise detail.
Define a clear plan of how your journey to your relationship goal will look like. Define any step changes, achievement points, specific things that must be in place before your goals are achievable.
Sense check your relationship goal to make sure you are not trying to achieve too much. It's imperative that your partner is 100% on board with the achievement you are trying for and it is important to them to achieve as well.
Is the relationship goal within your own sphere of influence, can you and your partner deliver all the things you need to make the goal happen or do you need others support and help. If you need others to do specific things within the goal this may be outside your own sphere of influence, can that third party be bought in and be willing or able to help?
How long should it take for you to achieve your goal? Defining a time frame helps keep your plan on track and helps drive motivation.
Defined within the smart model more specifically but is used here to give a general statement of the wanted achievement.
This is where you review and look at what your situation is now, very open and honest thoughts and conversation should take place. What is your current situation, what are your current responsibilities, what current commitments do you have, what things are there that must continue to exist?
What hurdles and road blocks will you discover and need to overcome to achieve your relationship goal and how are you going to overcome them? It's great to know what challenges you will face on the way so you can plan the way round or through some of the tougher issues you may need to deal with.
The plans put in place to overcome your obstacles leading to success in your relationship.