So what is self love? Through life you get to learn many things sometimes at the wrong time? Our journey is peppered with moments of enlightenment and advice but we can never guarantee it will be before we need it. Although the understanding of what we are about to discuss is common knowledge in psychological and counselling circles, its delivery or detail may be slightly different and seems not to be shared freely amongst the general population. If it was this model could make a real difference! Once you understood the method you can deal with challenges in a compassionate way and you are able to treat others with much more compassion. If you learn the ability to accept your self without judgement, deal with issues and thoughts by deciding what they mean to you and accept the outcome compassionately this will allow you to calm your inner self. If you learn to love yourself for who you are happiness in life can improve significantly. This model was developed so I could allow myself to visually see my new way of thinking and create a path of understanding.
In order to care for others in the way we truly
want to it is a requirement that we understand how to care for ourselves first, this is the first step towards acceptance. If we do not except ourselves as we are and become comfortable in our own skin how can
we possibly make others feel that we want to look after them and make them feel supported? So how do we make sure we understand our self and show love and compassion to others.
It may look complicated at first but is simplistic in its delivery. Starting from the bottom at SELF we can start our journey to understand the secret love model. At the point Self a form of psychological challenge takes place, we can deal with that challenge by using either process B or C. If we use process B we spend much time beating ourselves up about all sorts of decisions we make. It all starts with our belief system. We all have inherent belief and moral systems that we work by and these are created in many ways. Critical judgement at the belief level puts us off to a shaky start as we are then in a process of not believing in ourselves. We then create conflict at the feeling level as we internally argue with ourselves due to an aggressive inner stance, this then leads to high levels of conflict. Due to on-going confrontational thoughts the ability to make a choice becomes so difficult that inner turmoil ensues effecting our emotions towards things, this can then affect our behaviours and we can then become dis-eased.
Process C works on the same principle however we start the process with an acceptance of who we are and our belief and moral make up is accepted and indeed a level of confidence exists about ourselves, we start with self love. This can unlock the ability to have compassionate debate built on trust, played out with acceptance of outcomes, allowing focus on the choice we need to make. Acceptance of feelings invoked is key to self love, if you truly accept your feelings you can continue to accept yourself for who you are. This can lead to a balanced emotional debate without aggressive conflict. Merely weighing up consequence versus action. This then allows us to accept ourselves regardless of the decision made because it is built from a firm foundation of trust of our self, acceptance of our opinions and a belief that our actions will be in proportion.
Learn to love yourself!